Madly In Love with ME Day!

Happy Valentine's Day all!

I was anticipating a sad and lonely Vday, and then realized there are TONs of women like me out there with no mate. So, thanks to some amazing women (including myself!) and Spirit for a "change in heart", I am enjoying this day of Love and choose a new focus. ME.

Yesterday, I attended a seminar called, "Madly in love with ME!" I found it on the internet when searching for something to do for myself on Vday. I was thinking, "Where are the "how-to's" on how to love yourself?" Seriously. I had no idea where to start. Then, I remembered the movie. "The Secret" when Bob Proctor says " I'm so in love with me I wanna kiss myself!" Wow. I decided to learn how I could feel that way and then discoved Christine Arylo and Amy Ahlers.

I had heard about this "self-love" phenomenon through my therapist. She helped me see that I couldn't possible know how to fall in love with myself, since that behavior had never been modeled for me. I only knew how to fall (and I mean FALL) in love with men. Certainly not with myself. Me? Be worthy of attention and love? And what exactly does "self-love" mean? Doesn't it mean acting selfish and narcistic? No! It simply means taking care of "self" before others. The airlines advise passengers to apply their own [oxygen] masks first; then assist children or other persons in need. We must take care of ourselves first, for that is the essence of self love. So, the reverse is true, really. It's selfish NOT to take care of ourselves first, for we then become a burden to others and incapable of contributing to the world. How selfish is that?

So on this day of celebration and love, let's all remember that in order to completely love another, we must first, love ourselves. Start your "love affair" with you today!

Have a Peaceful Holiday Season

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What You Don't Know is Hurting You

Wow. How the digital age has changed the world. As I watch Oprah today (as I have since 86) I realized that I have actually been influenced by her more than any other person to date. Yes, Oprah! I feel like I have grown up through years of watching her shows, in search of some moral compass by which to guide my life. In the midst of the chaos, whatever it was, there was always Oprah to make sense of it all. I learned from her and she made me FEEL something in a way no one ever has including my parents. I can honestly say that she has without a doubt had the greatest influence on me, body, mind and spirit of anyone else in my life. Period.

OPRAH BRAVO!!!!!!!!

And Bravo to Oprah for her amazing show today! It was all about diabetes and the horrors of this country’s misunderstandings regarding nutrition. As some of us grew through our youth, we ate fried everything, sweet everything, and everything else we could get our hands on---especially if it was “homemade”. Translation, made with LOVE. You can eat your way to feeling love, we all discovered. I was especially touched by the church ladies. One woman actually shared the same name as my grandmother. (I once brought her to the Oprah show when she was 93). As I sit here today watching the show with my son, I am touched by her memory.

My cousin died of diabetes two years ago and when I turned 40 I raised 5K for the American Diabetes Association. And so today’s show theme resonates deeply with me. Here’s my take on the obesity epidemic: It is so sad. I believe it’s because of sheer ignorance about what is good for us and our general lack of ability to feel our real feelings, that we are becoming a fatter nation. Inability to feel, I have found, is usually some manifestation of a deep emotional wound. Finding and healing this wound is the key, I think, to managing serious pain-numbing manifestations like food, alcohol, and tobacco,

I believe many, perhaps an alarming number of us, are food addicts, because of this thought: out of the three, it’s the one that FEELS closest to love. “I love pizza”. Most people don’t say that about tobacco and alcohol. I think Oprah and her team of experts hit the nail square on the head with today’s show. I am inspired and motivated to make this my blog topic today. For more information, go to www.Oprah.com

Oh Happy Day!

Just Like Her

Today I am finally taking down my Christmas tree. Good thing its fake. This was the first year ever, I have not had a "real" tree, and guess what...it was SO MUCH EASIER. Funny, I remember my mom saying the same thing to which my sister and I would reply, "NO. Its not Christmas without a real tree. The smell is so good." And so it went. We had the real tree-every year. And the turkey. And thoughtful, well-chosen gifts, even though we never made a list. We even made a gingerbread house, lots of cookies and went to see Santa as a whole family (except for my dad).

And then, my mom would routinely call me sometime in January (or maybe Feb.!) to tell me how every year she decorates alone and then, she puts it all away for next year--ALONE. I could hear the emotion in her tone and she struggled to get her words out. Perhaps, I was always gone back to school, or to my own home or had my hands full with my kids. Or, just maybe, (just maybe?), I was a newly independent, strong-willed, stubborn, determined, excited and focused young woman, so busy with building my new life that I forgot to help my mom. Just like my daughter is/does now. I never really paid attention to the pattern, not realizing it until today. By myself, just me and the tree. And GOD.

So now, how eerie, it's me, alone, just like her. But I am really not alone, I know that. As I sit here now, it feels good to remember. Everyday I hear her voice in my words. And each day I look in the mirror, I am beginning to see her face more and more. I complain about my wrinkles, sagging skin and sunspots, just like she did. I talk a lot, just like she did. And I laugh out loud, really loud, just like she did.

More than I know, I am just like her. And I am so proud of that.

The Grammy Awards

It was worth staying up for this year! Never have I seen the women so powerful, from Beyonce, to Pink, to teenage Taylor Swift. Some of the best, most respected rock 'n rollers showed up,too,including Bon Jovi (my fav), Stevie Nicks, Celine Dion, Smokey Robinson and lots more. The tribute to Michael Jackson was almost perfect except...I don't think 3-D glasses are a common household item. His children gave a sweet tribute to their daddy at the end of the tribute which included Michael's singing along with other powerhouse voices. Even with the other superstar singers, Michael's voice could be heard above them all. I will forever miss Michael Jackson--gone way too soon :(

Real estate outlook today and short sales...

The real estate market here in Northern California has finally started to pick up a bit. Many homes are receiving multiple offers, going above asking price. I recently wrote an offer for a client $15,000 over asking because I knew it would take that to secure and acceptance. Guess what-it worked, and my client got the house of his dreams. No more "low-balling" on desirable properties as they are going quickly to the highest bidder! Keep in mind however, the appraisal must come in at the sales price or the deal could collapse midstream.

One buyer I had was qualified for a $400,000 home and we put an offer in on a condo that was a "short sale"; that's when the property's market value is less than what is owed. The asking price was $398,000 and we offered $400,000, with no credits. It was a clean, strong offer. The seller accepted it, and off it went to the bank. The person in charge, the "asset manager" from the bank, took several months to even review the file and when it did finally come back, the bank wanted $425,000. My clients couldn't go any higher so the deal fell apart. I got them immediately into another property that was not a "short sale", and as of this writing the other condo is still on the market after nearly 6 months.

My advice to buyers: avoid the "short sale" if your time frame to move is less than 90 days. Traditional sales can typically be closed in 30 days. FHA loans can take a little longer, but nothing compared to trying to purchase a "short sale" property. If you do fall in love with a property that is selling short, my advice is "what a great time to practice patience"! And most importantly, make sure you are represented by an experienced buyers agent. Don't try this alone!

Kim
-keeping it REAL.